Ron Jeremy The Exclaim! Questionnaire

Ron Jeremy The Exclaim! Questionnaire
What are you up to?
I'm on this TV show, The Surreal Life and I've got this Pornosonic CD. There's a film I'm in with Andy Dick called Being Ron Jeremy.

What are your current fixations?
A lot of show tunes — everything from Fiddler On the Roof to Jesus Christ Superstar to The Lion King. I love soundtracks.

Why do you live where you do?
I have a place in New York, but I live in Hollywood because that's where the business is, that's where the work is for me. If I could sing and dance, I'd stay in New York and do Broadway, but I can't.

Name something you consider a mind-altering work of art:
Quest For Fire with Rae Dawn Chong. You're entertained for two hours and there's not one word spoken.

What has been your most memorable gig and why?
Going with Randy Jackson in his Rolls Royce to see his brother Michael perform in Los Angeles at the Forum. It was amazing – being in the front row with the entire Jackson family including Joe and Jermaine. It was a thrill being amongst that family watching their prodigy son.

What have been your career highs and lows?
Highs: Directing John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut. Having a hit rap song called "Freak of the Week."
Lows: I don't regret it, but kissing my own shmeckle in a couple of movies.

What's the meanest thing that anyone has ever said to you at work?
Aren't you kind of fat and hairy to be a porn star?

What do you think everyone should shut up about?
That I'm fat and hairy.

What traits do you most like and most dislike about yourself?
Like: Giving, warm guy. Honest, don't do drugs. And my cheques never bounce.
Dislike: I can be a bit obnoxious. I feel too much Jewish guilt sometimes. Trying to be funny when it's not the proper time.

What advice should you have taken, but didn't?
My father always bugs me to lose weight. He's 85 and very healthy. He said "You don't see too many octogenarians who are heavy. Look around Ronny at the old people — every one of them is thin. You know why? The fat ones didn't get this far."

What would make you kick someone out of your bed?
Never have. If they got that far, I wanted them there.

What do you think of when you think of Canada?
Clubs can have women totally nude and still serve alcohol. In America, if they serve alcohol, the girls have to wear g-strings and pasties — the nude clubs are juice bars.

What is your vital daily ritual?
I don't really have one. I'm always travelling so things are always different.

What are you feelings on piracy, internet or otherwise?
I'm against piracy. It bothers me. The internet is an essential tool for education, but I think people misuse it a lot and it can be boring if you spend too much time on it.

What's been your most memorable day job?
A maitre'd in the dining room of a resort in the Catskill Mountains.

How do you spoil yourself?
Pedicure, manicure and shiatsu massage. Or a good buffet.

If you weren't a porn star, what would you be doing instead?
I'd still be a school teacher. That's what I used to do.

What do you fear the most?

What makes you want to take it off and get it on?
The drop of a hat.

What's been your strangest celebrity encounter?
When they recognise me first: Billy Joel, the lead singer from Creed, Richard Pryor, Tony Curtis, Mandy Patinkin. They actually came to me.

Who would be your ideal dinner guest, living or dead, and what would you serve them?
Marlon Brando. He likes Polynesian women — I'd serve him Polynesian food.

What does your mom wish you were doing instead?
Feeding Marlon Brando.

Given the opportunity to choose, how would you like to die?
Nothing cheers me up about the topic, I'm so scared of it. I'd like to be 100 years old, at least, and I'd like to go lying down comfortably in bed.

Ron Jeremy is no longer in the porn business — now Ron Jeremy is in the Ron Jeremy business. Sure, he still gets his bread buttered by the industry that made his name, but Jeremy has transcended mere porn fame to become a cultural icon. He's lent his fame to everything from rolling papers to CDs — including this month's reissue of Pornosonic, a faux funk band that plays original music in the wacka-wacka style.

"You want to get romantic, get some candles and play some Enya," Jeremy says about the project. "You want to get a girl to, you know, uhn, you gotta get the bump and grind music." Pornosonic isn't Jeremy's first connection to music. He's a classically trained pianist, and also plays violin and recorder. Plus he had a rap hit called "Freak of the Week" that rode the Billboard charts for 27 weeks in 1997.

In addition to the film work that made him famous — according to Guinness Book of Records, he's made the most adult film appearances in history (1750) — he's been part of mainstream films including Ronin, 54, Detroit Rock City and Reindeer Games, though invariably in tiny, bit parts. He also recently starred in a straight-to-video porn parody called Being Ron Jeremy.

Mostly, though, Ron is Ron Jeremy — especially in twisted reality TV series The Surreal Life, which premieres this month on MuchMoreMusic; in it, he and a group of other C-list celebrities live in a house together. According to Ron, the most memorable event of the experience — which he shares with the likes of Vanilla Ice, Tammy Faye Baker and Erik Estrada — was nudist camp. Typical.
James Keast