Jack White Wants to Launch a Thorough Investigation into Snoop Dogg's Breakfast Cereal

"Is it a statement that this cereal has more marshmallows than say… a bag of sand, or a typical caesar salad?"
Jack White Wants to Launch a Thorough Investigation into Snoop Dogg's Breakfast Cereal
Photo: Olivia Jean
To get you in the loop, Snoop Dogg just announced his latest business venture: a breakfast cereal called Snoop Loopz. And though it was only a matter of time for the hot product-dropping mogul, Jack White, known for famously keeping the pulse on everything going on online (with or without a phone), has some questions.

A healthy dose of skepticism is important, especially when it comes to cereals — there are so many out there on the shelves, how does one possibly choose the best of the best? White wants to get the facts straight before he considers making the switch to starting his day with Snoop Loopz. So, he did what any sensible person would do: shared his confoundedness with the world on Instagram.

The musician posted some press photos of the Snoop Loopz last night (August 16), before launching into his stream-of-consciousness confusion in the caption. His main concern seems to be in the cereal's branding, with the box boasting — alongside a press release from Broadus Foods, which investigative journalist Jack White obviously went through with a fine-toothed comb — that the cereal has "MORE MARSHMALLOWS." But isn't marshmallow quantity all relative? This is what White is boldly asking us to consider.

He wrote:

I would like to personally congratulate Snoop Dogg on his new cereal release and a pat on the back for its charitable benefits that it will be producing, nice one. But i do have a couple of important questions about the box that the cereal is delivered to customers in; in the press release from Broadus foods, the photo of the cereal box contains the words "MORE MARSHMALLOWS". More than what? if this is in fact a brand new cereal, it can't be more marshmallows than "before". Is it a statement that this cereal has more marshmallows than say…a bag of sand, or a typical caesar salad? Or, is it a DEMAND from Snoop Dogg himself that we just have more marshmallows in this world in general? That last theory is my hope. Lastly, the photograph on Master P's instagram shows a DIFFERENT phrase, an un-plural "MORE MARSHMALLOW" without the "S". Photo attached, answers demanded.

Some interesting food for thought.

Though this is the first time most of us are hearing about Snoop Loopz, it was apparently announced over the weekend by Master P, who once signed Snoop to No Limit Records — and he made some lofty promises; it will contain not only more marshmallows, but also more corn and more flavour. And It's gluten-free!
 
You (and White) can visit the Snoop Loopz (humbly WordPress) website to (maybe) learn more and investigate the possibility of experiencing future breakfasts akin to Entering Heaven Alive.

See White's Instagram post below.
 
 
Controversially, this writer's main questions here concern the fate of the rapper's promised hot dog(g) brand Snoop Doggs — what of the weiners?